10/16/2020 Fatal Attraction / Cuffing Season Part 5 (Redefined TV)

 1 Kings 11:1-2

King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the Lordhad told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. 

> What are we loving that's turning our hearts?

> You may not be responsible for what you attract, but you are responsible for what you entertain.

> One of the tactics of the enemy is to send us pain giftwrapped in our preference.

> It's not the foreign women chasing Solomon. It appears that Solomon was chasing them.

> Isn't it amazing on how we look back on what we had in Egypt and some of us have been lurking, and monitoring things that were fatal.

> Why do you reminisce the good times but forget Pharaoh's whip? - Forget when your hair was falling out and begging God to get you out of it.

> THANK GOD IT DIDN'T WORK

> Has anybody grateful for the times you didn't get the position? For the times God did close doors, that relationship didn't work out. You wouldn't be pursuing God with the intensity you've been pursuing Him now, if that would have worked.

> One of the signs you're growing is when your X is no longer your type. I'm no longer attracted to things I had in Egypt.

X is an example when God doesn't endorse a thing.  

> For certain people our radical stance and our peace seem unnatural because people who live in chaos looked confused at people who live in peace. They can't understand it cause all they've known is chaos and dysfunction.

> A fatal attraction is not when someone can't get over you. It is when God told us not to do a thing but we hold on to it. Is when we are attracted to that which is fatal.

> Can you identify when something is fatal? There's a desperate need for unlearning in the area of attraction. There's a desperate need for us to unlearn some things because I cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that created it. So I need God to deal with what I am attracted to - what I like / what's my type / preferences because if I keep my preferences but keep on claiming the king and God hasn't touched the area of my preferences I'll keep on feeling as though God is leading me into wilderness and famine places and many times, it's the very thing that we liked that keeps causing us to behave into a season. The beginning of unlearning is forgiveness. When we have to unlearn some things we come to God and say 'Forgive me for what I've done.' This is repentance, "Forgive me and change my heart. I need you to change me." And for me to change, I need to ask forgiveness because I don't want to go back to that. And some of us we need to learn to forgive ourselves, forgive ourselves for entertaining fatal things, forgive ourselves so we can really forgive others. FORGIVENESS FREES THE PRISONER. And once you forgive, you'll discover that the prisoner was you. DON'T GET EVEN. HEAL. Healing looks good on you. Becoming looks good on you. Because one of the ways the devil is trafficking in killing us softly, is by the things that we're attracted to. Because we can't identify that which is toxic. 

When we can't identify what's toxic we'll look like a cute dog licking a rattlesnake. How many of us kissed snakes but we couldn't recognize until we've been bit. But what is it in me that liked the snake in the first place? What is it in me that caused me to not see that this is fatal? I wonder how life would have looked if before we pick up things, we treat it as if it is venomous, until we got confirmation. 

I'm not picking this up, not marrying this, not taking this, not dating them, not doing this until I get some confirmation because I don't know if you bear fruit or you bear poison, and until then, I'll treat you as accordingly. We'll have some distance. I gotta get discernment. Some of us are so caught up with what we see. Look for things by seeking. It's not being attracted to things based on what we see. Add a K to it. SEEK out if this is God's will for my life.

1 Chronicles 16:11

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

Lamentations 3:25

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

Psalms 119:10 

With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!

Amos 5:4

For thus says the Lord to the house of Israel: “Seek me and live;

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Jesus is saying, don't seek the things, seek the Kingdom because if you seek the King and the Kingdom, the things that you need for your assignment will be added unto you.

DISCERNMENT CORRECTS ATTRACTION - There's a difference between attraction and being attracted

Trauma response - When we romanticize and when we reflect on a toxic relationship that was an emotional assassin- that's a trauma response, not you missing them. It's possible that many people due to the intensity of the bond, we think this has to be love. Because  it's so hard for me to let them go, because I don't want to do life without them. Unfortunately a lot of us have never known what LOVE is - not from a Kingdom perspective. Maybe you're mislabeling it, you don't miss them, you're having withdrawals. Because this is how the body response when we're no longer giving it the toxicity that it's used to. Your body is responding, you no longer has the poison. When you're having withdrawals, that doesn't mean go back.

DISCERNMENT - Clear direction, cloudy direction, confirmed direction

1. CLEAR - It's clearly sin. No need to pray / fast.

ex. Should I rob them?, Do I need to sleep with so's wife or husband?

2. CLOUDY - When you encounter an obstacle / crossroad. When you don't know what to do. God's will / my will / enemy? 

This is when God is calling us into intercession. Fast. Depending on the direction that you're about to go, is married to how intense the fasting and how intense we have to go to turn down the volume of things.

ex. Fast 3 days if you don't know if you should do business with this person.

21-40 days and counseling for marriage.

The thing about God is He always addresses the elephant in the room.

3. CONFIRMED - It's when God confirmed you to do a thing.

Authorization. The beauty about having confirmation is that you've been heavenly authorized for a thing.

>> 1) it will always compliment His word

>> 2) unexplainable flow - things just lining up. 

         Obedience - you'll live on flow you don't have to knock on doors, it'll open for you

>> 3) Reoccurring confirmation - God won't give you new instruction until you've got NOW obedience

>> 4) Resistance - Somethings trying to stop you / hinder you. If you never experienced resistance, maybe you're going the same way with the devil, but he's a defeated foe.

THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN IS IF YOU DON'T FIGHT. BECAUSE THE FIGHT HAS BEEN FIXED. BECAUSE IN CHRIST WE HAVE THE VICTORY.

Confirmation is the anchor that keeps me from drifting with the waves from second guessing. No matter how hard it gets, I know that I've been given authority in this area. There's nothing more anxiety spawning, uncertainty triggering than for you to make moves without confirmation.

COMMON DISCERNMENT - When you can see through a thing (You know they're lying)

SPIRITUAL DISCERNMENT - When you can see beyond a thing (You know if it's sent by the enemy or distraction)

Lack of spiritual discernment shows I'm still a baby, because toddlers will always choose candy over callings.

Attraction is married to appetite - Our appetite is the GPS of our pursuits. Whatever we crave is what we'll pursue. You don't end up at the place you desire. You end up at the place you crave. 

1 Kings 11:4-8

For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and did not fully follow the Lord, as did his father David. Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, on the hill that is east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the abomination of the people of Ammon. And he did likewise for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods.

Follow the Lord, as did his father David had done: the power of forgiveness. We know about David's sin but God doesn't hold that against David, even though there's a consequence.

How many of us are sacrificing because we're with foreign things to our destiny?

How many of us have our hearts turned down towards the gospel because of estranged people in our life who have turned our hearts for other Gods? 

Can you identify when something is fatal?

FATAL - it keeps taking your way from what God has talked you into.

Whoever has the remote to our life controls the volume.

How do we identify what's fatal?

1. Unlearn attraction - Unlearn what they told you

2. Attraction should be formulated by a fruit - Never get in a place where you live in fear so much to where you embrace familiar misery rather than seek out foreign joy.

3. Flesh based bonds are venomous. 

FATAL - When it has turned your heart against God.

10/12/20 Things I wish I knew before I got married / Cuffing Season Part 4 (Redefined TV)

Proverbs 24:27 (NIV) 
Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house.

> Before you do anything else, put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready then build your house.

> Are you so focused on what you want to build, that you're overlooking the disorder of the outdoor work?

> God has wired the wife (supernaturally wired) to be an elevator to her husband's evolution process

A man who doesn't understand this, views his wife / his helper as just pushing buttons. The brother who has a kingdom lens, he understands this, he doesn't view this/her as one that's just pushing buttons on the keypad. He views it as her activating a command to take you up.

> She has level up capacity. She makes business level up. However, there's a language that you have to know. If you're going to be able to speak and invest in his evolution process.

> The condition of the heart, is tied to the condition of the mouth.

>  I can't speak evolution into her/him if I'm in destruction in my heart. She can't help him evolve if she has a heart that hasn't been healed.

> God wants us to have a whole heart, so you can pour into others.

> A whole glass can quench your thirsty but if that same glass if broken can cut you.

> I want you to have a whole heart so you can help other people in their wholeness process.

> I forgot to take out the trash. Waste management did not come to my door, knock and say you forgot to take your trash out. If you don't put your trash out, they don't take it and God is the same way, a lot of us are wondering why our life is a mess were wondering why we're living in waste. Why our mind is like this, our heart is like this. It's because you haven't put the trash out. God will only take the trash that you give to Him. "I have to put it out."

If we're talking about the same God who won't force you to be saved. He's the same God who won't force you to release your trash. What trash are you complaining to God about? That God is saying, if you would just put it out.

> If you would just get rid of it, if you would just address what hurt. If you would just talk, if you were just to act like this doesn't bother / didn't affect your heart, if you take it out, I'll heal you. But as long as you don't take it out, I'll let your heart, keep stinking.

> A lot of people in this world feel like they're ready to get married. They have their basics. I have a car, I have a house, I have a career, I'm not crazy, I'm not a bum. But anybody that has been married, knows that it takes so much more than that to not just have a functional marriage. But to have a long-lasting thriving fruitful kingdom marriage. Just like your basic needs - like food, shelter and water. You can survive off of that, but you may not necessarily thrive and a lot of people are living their lives just surviving and not thriving.

> Most people should never be satisfied with just surviving, with just working. You don't want to be just functional. You should always want to do more. You should always want to be greater. You should always want to be better. You should never be satisfied with just where you are. And that's what a lot of people's lives look like. And then people want to have this bomb beautiful relationship, the moon and the stars, rockets and fireworks going off and you don't have all the details of your life worked out - always be the best version of yourself that you could possibly be - whether married or planning to be married.

> You have never arrived and there's always work to be done. You can have read the entire Bible all the way through and God can still give you new revelation of what is in there.

> You can never have enough growth.

> If God has it for your life, He's gonna send it. But until then, continue to do the work and build. God's got you.

> Don't settle. God will not make you wait long and give you some trash. No season is wasted.

> God prepares us in seasons that doesn't look like everything that you dreamed and asked God for.

> He'll place you in a season that looks like He's not answering your prayer. But from this particular text, I'm seeing that God's method is I have to get you to first work on the outdoor work and fields in order then we can build on the house. God is a type of God where in the wilderness, when you have wells that you did not dig, vineyards that you did not plant,  we see nothing but desert, cactusses, rattlesnakes and sand and then tel you when you have grapes you did not plant. God is saying, you're right here, but you're not staying right here.

> Have we gotten so conditioned to the pasture, that we have started making ourselves have a pasture preference. You've started to adapt to the pasture when you oil for the palace and so He said okay, focus on the outdoor work. Focus on that before you build. This is what it looks like, I have all these trash in my life - anxiety, porn addiction, anger issues, and I'm asking Lord, "When?" How many of us are trying to build things but your trash is affecting your building ability?

> God is trying to build your character, your faith, but you can't as long as you're holding on to the attitude, to that petty, as long as you haven't forgave, even though you're trying to build, you could never do it because I haven't dealt with my outdoor work.

> Ladies, have you ever felt like you're the one building, but he's the one that's always knocking stuff down? Have you ever felt like a mechanic, like you just keep on repairing stuff?

> God wants you to build something so that both of you can stand in it together. So now, we can stand in something - we can stand in purpose, in covenant, in agreement, in prayer, because everything in my life that I'm aware of .

> When you get somebody, you're going to discover stuff in you, you never knew was there.

> Marriage doesn't heal, cure. It exposes me. You don't know how selfish you are until you have to do life with a person, how prideful. If I'm intentional with taking my waste out, and saying God, take this trash, then maybe we could stand in something.

> Our minds, our emotions are cluttered with a bunch of stuff and we will never be able to help a man build anything if we don't deal with it. It's going to be much more difficult. It's gonna create a lot of obstacles, much more problems in any relationship. If you have all of your stuff and all of your trash, and then you expect to help build some empire, platform, ministry, purpose with a husband, it's gonna be hard. Deal with your issues before you get married. Because when you get married, it does not disappear, they get magnified.

> It's not rejection. It's redirection. The very person that you thought was going to be part of your future, they were messing up your future. And so God will wreck your plans before your plans will wreck you. This is why it's dangerous to say "I want somebody who will be there with me if I hit rock bottom." What if they could only handle your rock bottom but they can't handle your level up. So I have to trust God's removal in every season.

THINGS I WISH  I KNEW BEFORE I GOT MARRIED:

1. Feelings buried alive don't die

ex. Lust issue. That's something that needs to be killed. Now you have problems with infidelity. If you don't realize that you need to address those issues before, how do you know that you need to address the issues.

Marriage doesn't cure low self-esteem, insecurity. Marriage is not gonna fix him. It's not gonna make him be faithful to you, make him want you, make him love you. He is gonna have to change himself. He is gonna allow God to change him in order to be suitable enough of a man to lead you. Some think that marriage is the end-all, be-all, fix-all.

2. Importance of Fasting

Fasting - to turn down the volume of your flesh

A lot of times the reason marital problems become huge problems is because you always had your way when you were single. This is why a lot of people don't want to get married. Marriage is not an upgrade. It's a mission. For his assignment, for her assignment, you have to come together. It's a calling and everybody's not called to it.

There has to be two dead individuals in order for your marriage to live. How it becomes suffering is when one person is living and the other one's dying - that's when it hurts.

3. Address the trash

4. Marriage is not a cure

5. Knowledge of a unified front -

It's no longer me, my, I. It's now we, us, our.

6. Learn to listen

7. Letting the man lead

10/9/2020 Red Flags / Cuffing Season Part 3 (Redefined TV)

Proverbs 8:1-11

 Does not wisdom call out? Does not understanding raise her voice? At the highest point along the way, where the paths meet, she takes her stand; beside the gate leading into the city, at the entrance, she cries aloud: “To you, O people, I call out; I raise my voice to all mankind. You who are simple, gain prudence; you who are foolish, set your hearts on it. Listen, for I have trustworthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse. To the discerning all of them are right; they are upright to those who have found knowledge. Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.

Proverbs 22:3

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.

What are we paying for because we kept going?

Too many of us are living at midnight. In a dark place, dark space. It could be due to the pain, unbelief, doubt, trauma.

Midnight - technically a new day. You are not called to live in darkness. You are called to be a child of the light. One of the ways we could avoid unnecessary pain or unnecessary trouble (we're gonna have trouble, Jesus already said it) is by identifying red flags. 

In Proverbs 22 - one person sees danger, keeps going and suffers for it.

One person saw the red flag and took action. They ended it. Broke up. Walked away from something, no longer doing business with them.

When you are desperate, you'll always confuse God's red flag as a green light. 

This cut off is not personal. It's spiritual. This is unhealthy. Not conducive for my assignment. God sends kings not leeches. How do you know if something is a leech? Parasitic? It's when it's draining you. Draining your sleep, your prayer life, passion, desires.

One of the ways and the benefit of you residing in the Kingdom is you can spot royalty. One of the reason you can't identify kings is because you're not engaged in kingdom living since I have not applied kingdom principles to my life. That is the catalyst on why I keep getting deceived by their life. Kings establish order, they lead and they regulate the chaos.

So whenever a man shows up in your life, this doesn't just have to be romantic, - business partner, mentor, coach, future husband - if he does not lead but he follows, he doesn't establish order but brings disorder and chaos - Red flag.

GOD IS NOT THE AUTHOR OF CONFUSION

Why do you keep letting people get in front of you who slow down your spiritual acceleration

Marriage, relationships, business will either be a capsule or catapult. Whoever you decide to do life with will either capsule your life or catapult your life.

For brothers, God aligns us to discover help meets. He allows us to cross paths with someone who will be a help meets not damsels in distress. In the Kingdom, if you're a damsel in distress - Jesus saves you. The King of kings. 

There is nothing more frustrating to a man of vision or purpose to encounter a woman who has dreamed about being a wife but hasn't prepared to be a help meet. Wife is the title. Help meet is the function. Husband is the title. Being head is the function. Any woman can walk down the aisle with a beautiful dress on, say I do and put a ring on her finger. That's just the title of a wife. But to be a help meet. When God saw Adam, He recognized there are some places that this man can not meet without her help so I gotta make him a suitable helper. There are lot of ministries who are monetizing your idolatry. They sell you the title but they don't equip you for the function.

Have you prayed over your mouth? With the same intensity that you prayed for God to send you something?

Because the mouth of a woman is an activator. She knows how to activate his king or activate his fool. Inside every man there's flesh and there's spirit. Do you have the skill-sets to Biblically be able to speak to this man's spirit or do you only know how to communicate to his flesh. 

Have you prayed over your sensitivity over your emotionalism? Have you taken the intentional steps to get the therapy to get the healing and to get the counseling, so that every single time he tries to lead you, you don't view it as an attack but rather it's a king establishing order. Not talking about him being a dictator or controlling because kings make decisions that benefit their domain. It's not for the benefactor of himself . It's for the benefactor of my wife and my children. If a man ever puts his foot down and it benefits him, but doesn't benefit his family, that's not a king, that's a tyrant. That's not king like behavior.

Do you really want a kingdom man? Do you really want somebody who puts God before themselves? Do you put God first in all that you do? When things don't go your way, do you still represent the kingdom? I know we're not perfect and we all have fallen short of the glory of God, but for the most part, do you represent the kingdom right? When something doesn't sit right with you, do you represent the kingdom or do you allow your emotionalism to be a permission slip that can override the fruit of self control. Be mature. Is he supposed to support you or push you? Support you in your pettiness or push you to be virtuous. Even when they're venomous. 

Kingdom men have to be able to see a spot or blemish and his love, tenderness, consistency is gonna wipe it off.

There's a level of godliness that the man is supposed to give you as a king that he can't even do when you do not reveal to him your spots. Is this man, do they have washing capacity? Does he know how to help me cleanse of what marked me, or this man causes spots or blemishes? Not the one who helps, but the one who scars. The more you talk to him, the more spots, the more blemishes, the more pain.

Kingdom man - purge you and wash you through his love, consistency, grace. It's his job to love you in such a way that you could forget that your heart was ever broken.

Do you really want an individual who will take you out of your comfort zone? Have you ever gotten comfortable on the palate of the graveyard of your excuses? Could you imagine being married to somebody who constantly disturbs your comfort zone?

Proverbs 8:3

Beside the gate leading into the city of the entrance she cries aloud.

Red flags are always at entrances. Before you enter the city, the red flag is there. God is saying don't go here. Before you make that decision.

Confirmations and red flags are always at entrances.

Red flag-  sign, signal, exposure or an alarm that God gives His children that says this is not ME!

God exposed you to something. This is not what you thought it was.

Once God shows you that this isn't Him, do you seek refuge or do you keep going?

What is a red flag?

1. It's anything that talks you out of what God has talked you into.

2. Secrecy

You don't have to hide what you're not doing.

Why can't I know your friends?

When people don't want multiple eyes, it's because they got multiple personalities. Since you're caught up with this business deal / growing your platform / marriage / with what you want, do you really get to see that there's a red flag behind this. But when there are multiple people around you, they could see the red flags.

Devils love concealment / secrecy, because it limits the power for shepherds to be able to identify that's a wolf. The enemy tries to keep us isolated and away from the pack because people in groups is harder to hit, will keep the weakest and smallest in the middle of the pack so I can protect you from the lions who are watching.

I believe you should meet family quick. - So I can see if there are any strongholds I have to deal with. Be aware of what's in the bloodline.

You can't be spirit led and serial date at the same time.

Proverbs 14:11 Where no counsel is; the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

3. Enhanced Temptation 

Have you ever been around an individual and it's harder for you to be holy (socialism)

Some of us, you are good as long as you don't hang with them and this is not always friends, co-workers. This could be your family. If you have to decide constantly between compromise and keeping God's command - Red flag.

Anything that makes it harder for you to follow Jesus.

4. Confusion

 If you don't know what this is, where this is going, what we are. 

When you walk with God, you may now know what God is doing but you know it's Him doing it. That's the difference. 

When you walk with God, I may not know what God is doing in this season but I do know that God is doing it.

5. Fits of rage

Constantly angry / ticked / pissed. It shows lack of control

6. Possessive Behavior

Have you met somebody like they own you / control you. They usually come narcissistic / manipulative.

7. Is when you can't identify the red flags in you

The red flags in yourself. You don't even know they exist. She / he got a red flag, but you never stop for a moment and take inventory of yourself. So you could identify, maybe I'm a walking red flag. Maybe I'm the one who enhances temptation / talks people out of what God has talked them into / possessive / fits of rage / secretive. Because if you can't identify you're a red flag, you definitely won't be able to identify other red flags.

10/5/2020 A man is ready when / Cuffing Season Part 2 (Redefined TV)

 Genesis 2:15-22

2:20 Or the man 
The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs  and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib  he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

I will make a suitable helper for him  - a lot are caught up with receiving Adam but you're not caught up on the part where God says 'I will make'. Until God makes you, you won't be suitable for what He is about to send to you. It's not just about getting Adam, it's about receiving the process of being made.

Every choice is pregnant with the potential to give birth to a season and the sobriety of my choices is married to the health of my soul.

Make choices that reflects our growth and our healing, not choices our of frustration and brokenness.

Make choices that reflect our healing and becoming process.

Methodology of God:

GOD PERFORMS THE BEST SURGERIES WHICH BRINGS FORTH THE BIGGEST BLESSINGS WHEN WE HAVE LEARNED HOW TO REST - HOW TO REST IN HIM.

Have you allowed the cares of this life to rob you of your rest? God cannot perform surgery because for Him to perform surgery, you must be asleep. And you're not resting due to the bills, pandemic, anxiety, typhoon of emotions.

God scheduled an appointment for your operation. He wants to deal with your fractured soul, with your fears and doubts, with what happened to your heart after they betrayed you. But He can't deal with you as long as you got the knife in your hand trying to be your own surgeon because you're cutting the wrong things, the wrong parts, the wrong Scriptures, wrong people. 

God is not gonna let you drown. If you still have a pulse, God still has a plan. God did not bring you this far just so that you could come this far. If we can rest in the fact that God is a God who cannot lie. 

If God didn't closed that wound, it would have gave space for infection. There are some men walking around infecting people. 

Woman -  God has wired you to be a helper, God has wired you to make things level up. You have to understand your value and have to have discernment. Because every broken man is not your rescue mission. You will confuse your contribution as confirmation. You have been given oil for whom you're assigned to. You have not been given oil to your preference. You are the favor factor. 

So why does you feel a man coming in your life brings you favor. That's not biblical.

Carrier of favor. He who finds a wife finds favor from the Lord. You are a wife before you are a wife.

How is it you're looking to say I do to a man more than you say I do to God. Your attachment is favored. Rather you somebody's or not. You can be single and favored. You can be married and favored. 

God has wired men to be protectors. Protect her purity and spirit. Protector of your name, of your bloodline, inheritance, sons, daughters, of your wife. 

One thing you can identify if a man really loves you - not by giving you flowers / chocolates, not just by providing for you.

It is if he protects you because whatever a man loves, he protects.

Never allow the lack of exposure for you to doubt the existence of a thing. Until this brother had a collision course with Jesus, had ran into the King, has waved the white flag of surrender, he ain't ready. He has surrendered his life to God.

One of the painful things that hit the human heart is to be deceived. When you have the revelation that what you thought was genuine, was really artificial, when a person discovers that they thought was real was really fake, that has the propensity to callous our heart to love and to trust. No wonder the devil traffics in deception because the residue to be deceived is to distrust. And the main quality for the Christian is to be able to trust. 

How enemy trips us up many times is by light glimpses. It's those light glimpses that get us confused. It's the spirits of you could do better that messes us up.

 

Bipolar leadership gives birth to confusion.

A MAN IS READY WHEN:

1. When he has a garden 

Garden is symbolic of intimacy with Jesus.

Genesis 2:15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden. 

This man has been captured by God. God has taken his mind, his passions, his thoughts, his ways. Then God gives this man identity / a job (legal)

And take care of it - God makes him consistent.

Notice his garden - notice his relationship with the Lord, because unmowed gardens give rooms for snakes.

2. When he takes responsibility

Can acknowledge and take responsibility when he's wrong. God is gonna call Adam first. He called, "Adam where are you?" Nothing happened until Adam ate the fruit. For kingdom men, everything on the side of you and under you, is your responsibility. Biblical manhood - is it may not be my fault, but it is my responsibility. One of the ways that you really can know that you're a man, is your ability to put things away.

1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 

How well do you put away blaming people or not sharing or sin.

3. He can provide

Provides you with clarity. If marriage is the goal, it's going to be clear. You're not going to be the one that has to keep on bringing it up. Purity or the altar.

Provide you with vision, destination, food, shelter, clothing. 

Watch how you mother your sons because that's  a king in the making. 

Manhood is when I have provision, and I can provide not just for myself, but for somebody else. 

4. When he listens

If a wife is a helper, this means your evolution is tied to your ability to listen. A man that listen to the counsel of your woman / your wife.

Ladies, this means you have to get control over your emotions so that when you speak, you're able to speak out of help vs speaking out of hurt. What is the condition of your mouth? His evolution process is tied to your words.

I CAN'T GIVE EVOLUTION IF I'M STILL IN DESTRUCTION

Well-being and welfare of a man is tied to whoever has access to his ear.

We're all a byproduct of the level of teaching we sit under. 

5. When he wars for self-control

6. When he has been in the refiners fire

We have to allow God to make him. God has to build him. Before Eve came along the scene, Adam had time with God.

10/3/2020 Redefine Love / Love Corrects (Part 1) (Redefined TV)

Love takes maturity. Healthy holistic Kingdom Love

It requires for you to be mature or to die to yourself

When you really love somebody, you correct them in love. And it takes maturity for you to be able to not use their inadequacies, failures, shortcomings as ammunition and being corrected by the person whom you know their worst version.

A lot of people feel like they're stuck: stuck in this place / life / relationships / marriage. They feel like "How do I get out of this?" 

But in all actuality, it's not those things that are stuck, it's your head that's stuck. One of the problems with holding a record of wrong, is holding records blind you to growth. Ex: You're holding a record of what somebody did in 2018, but the thing about growth is I may not have the same outlook, the same perspective, the same attitude as I did in 2018, now in 2020, when you hold a record of wrongs and you're stuck on an offense / insult / on a flaw, you won't be able to see they're not the same person. This is why it's so foolish for people to gossip about people because when you're growing you evolve on the regular, I'm not the same person I was 6 weeks ago, 3 months ago. Matter of fact, what you heard was outdated information. Be able to be mature enough to not let your mind be stuck on what happened because many times we mislabel our life being stuck. No! Your head is stuck on a thing.

Love comes with correction - a lot of us need to learn how to do is love ourselves correctly. When you don't have a correct version of your value, then you risk trying to repair someone that is breaking you. When you know your value, it's easier for you to identify those people that don't. And they could tell that you haven't identified your value so they'll try to give you a price. 

Not understanding what you carry or your value or your assignments causes for us to make wrong picks and the danger of wrong picks - wrong picks create cycles and cycles place you in seasons and a lot of us have been in recovery season after recovery season not necessarily because the people are bad but because I have a bad perspective of myself and I haven't learned to love myself correctly. So I can't identify health from toxicity because I haven't produced health in myself. It's not just about receiving correction from somebody else.

Have you corrected your mindset or attitude?

The enemy knows I don't have to get their life, I just have to get the mind. He knows that if he can get your mind, he can  get your life, because their life moves in the direction of their most dominant thought.

All the enemy could do is present, persuade, try to help us agree. That's all temptation is. Just having the thought of nobody wants me, that's just a thought, it becomes dangerous when you become in agreement with it. I don't think I'm ever gonna find love, that's just a thought. It becomes problematic when you become in agreement with it, because there's power when 2 or 3 touch and agree. And I wonder if the 2 or 3 been your mind, your heart, and your perspective. They all have come in agreement and now the reason that you keep saying that you're having a bad day is because you have bad thoughts which are creating bad vibes.

When you correct yourself, that means you truly do love yourself because you really do want to be the best version of yourself. For your children, family, friends, spouse, for God.

Correct yourself in love and not being hard on yourself. Remember there's no condemnation in Christ Jesus so you're not beating yourself up.

God doesn't want us to be ashamed. He wants us to be shaped and molded for His glory. When we love God and ourselves, we'll do the necessary things to be the best we can be. Because that what God wants. When you get corrected, you can't be sensitive not to get in your feelings before you get sensitive ask these 3 things:

1. Do they love me
2. Are they trying to hurt me
3. Is it true

If I want health, it's gonna take work. Nothing that has value comes with ease. If you want a healthy holistic relationship, I have to be able to consider those things when they approach me.

When you live in your feelings, feelings don't allow you to filter - this is not an attack, this is correction in love.

Feelings were made to serve you, not master you.

So I won't be able to receive love in correction if feelings are my master vs me mastering my feelings. 

10/2/2020 The Reoccurring Ex / Cuffing Season Part 1 (Redefined TV)

Exodus 12:31-33
During the night Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron and said, “Up! Leave my people, you and the Israelites! Go, worship the Lordas you have requested. Take your flocks and herds, as you have said, and go. And also bless me.” The Egyptians urged the people to hurry and leave the country. “For otherwise,” they said, “we will all die!” 

> So they say, It's over! We're done!

Exodus 14:5-6
When the king of Egypt was told that the people had fled, Pharaoh and his officials changed their minds about them and said, “What have we done? We have let the Israelites go and have lost their services!” So he had his chariot made ready and took his army with him. 

> It's not really about the person the part that bothers me is I no longer have their services.
> Is this why they randomly started texting you again
> There was a particular service that you had to put up with their narcissistic behavior or that put up with my dysfunction or put up with my anger or compromise
> When it's God, you're never gonna have to keep up refreshing your social media, to see if they have updated their status but they didn't return your text or call from yesterday. When it's God, you won't have to stalk them.

When you spend so much time monitoring them, you can lose sight of you. You'll lose sight of what God is doing in your life. You'll lose sight of how God is purging you, pruning you and you mislabel it. Know they didn't just leave you. Could God have possibly removed them because God knows our tomorrow today. God is our future today. And He knows this individual is not conducive for where I'm taking here so I'm gonna remove them now so I don't have to remove the trauma from their life later.

If you don't understand that reality,  you risk trying to repair somebody  who's breaking you.

WHAT GOD IS GOING TO DO IS ABOUT TO BLOW MY MING BUT OBEDIENCE AND APPLIED PRINCIPLES ARE REQUIRED.

We can't live according to the flesh and then be confused on why our Spirit is in a drought. The grass is not greener on the other side and if you go over to the other side, you'll discover that it's just turf. It's not real. It's not authentic joy, real confidence real contentment. God wants us to experience the real thing. What God sends will not be toxic. What God sends will not bring trauma. Not saying you won't need accountability and some guidance. But this will not cause me to need therapy.

Being fake is too much exhausting. It requires too much work. - Keep up with things, fake posts, fake smiles, fake joy, fake happiness.

Why people go ghost?
1. You're too real
2. You're about to expose their fake life
3. They're running from themselves. 

- Everytime things get difficult you run. When it gets hard, you run. When somebody challenges you, you run. When you get corrected, you run. 
The problem is you can never outrun you. Eventually the real you is gonna make its debut. 

If David would have run from Goliath, instead of to Goliath... we don't even recognize that David fighting Goliath, it wasn't just about the fight, it was his announcement. David fighting Goliath was an announcement to the world, a new king is coming, somebody else has the oil. David fighting Goliath was the transition from him just being a little shepherd boy to a king that soon to come. How many of us are running from our promotion in disguise because you don't want to fight your giant?

It's not even about you. Sometimes when people leave us without explanation, it could cause for us to question ourselves. It could turn up the volume of our inner critic. You don't have to get wet from a storm that's not yours. That's their issue:
If the Christ follower is supposed to be the one who is filled with love, it's exposed by how we love each other. If that's the evidence that we're believers, no wonder why the enemy is after our hearts.

Sometimes the people who left, come back, it is a strategy of the enemy. Level up so hard that certain things can't find you, that former things can't tempt you anymore. Evolve so hard that you have to re-introduce yourself.

If I go to the Apple store and look for Iphone4, they will think I'm crazy. They wouldn't even question themselves. You're coming and trying to find something that we no longer produce. I'm not on that level anymore. 

You forgot who you were - NO. I didn't forget who I am. I just refused to live where we met. 

Become so mature, that for some people we have to be like an out of service elevator. They can step in but don't have to go to the floor that they pushed because I have self-government, and I have self-mastery. We need to be out of service for hell's use. Out of service to your schemes, temptations, manipulations because I have a new service provider and my service provider has given me an unlimited plan, unlimited blessings, unlimited joy, unlimited peace, unlimited access to the Father.

Notice the timing, because being aware of the timing can cause you to be aware of the sender.

What is sent your way when you're about to fall into depression. 
When you're having a night when your flesh is on fire and you get a random text.
When you're about to make an unwise choice, how that spiritual leader or friend, pastor, brother, sister seems to call you just to check on you, to see how you're doing. Because noticing the timing that as soon as you change your ind, as soon as you get serious about your faith, fasting, commitment.

How an X occurs (not always a person) could be a thing.
Anything that in your life at one time held you hostage. This is why it's so dangerous to follow cultural doctrine because culture says follow your heart. But sometimes God will ask us to do things that doesn't sit well with our heart but we're going to obey Him anyway. So our feet follows just out heart still doesn't understand why. And if we follow our heart, we'll go back to the very places that God has brought us out of.

X comes back when you're in between entry and exit.

It causes for hell to rage when you're right on the brink. 

That's a sign to let you know that you are about to walk into something. Your flesh brings the most fury when you're right on the brink of something which is why you must have a vision. God puts a vision in our hearts and in our soul not always to remind us of where we're going but for when we hit the middle so that when an X tries to get you to return or to persuade you to go back, I'm not going back there, because I'm going here --->

NO NEED FOR PLAN B
FOLLOWING CALLINGS COME WITH FAREWELLS.

1 Kings 19:20-21
Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah. “Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye,” he said, “and then I will come with you.” “Go back,” Elijah replied. “What have I done to you?” So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his servant.

> Elisha went back not to stay but to slaughter everything he knew. He has no plan B.
The reason why your flesh is on fire, because you're still giving your flesh options.
One way to defeat this.. BY NO PLAN B

Luke 9:62 Jesus replied, "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the Kingdom of God."

I'M GOING ALL IN. SOLD OUT. BE COMMITTED TO THIS THING. 

Difference between interested and committed. 

Interested - you'll do what's convenient

Committed - you'll do whatever it takes

Why X's return:

1. Do I still have a grip? Hell could be nervous because it sees your change. It sees you changing, praying,. So sometimes he has to send what worked in one season to see if it still works in this season.

2. When you are close to something.

God sents and counterfeits usually arrive in the same season. 

-Elijah and Baal worshippers

- Moses and Pharaoh

- Jesus and Herod

3. To limit access

They're trying to limit other people from having access to you. They're blockers. If I can't have you, no one can have you. To limit your prayer life / devotion

Have you noticed, when certain people depart, peace arrives. Peace departure is tied to your arrival

4. Miss you and your services

A lot of us get in trouble because whenever we feel as though this is unfamiliar terrain. Whenever God places us in something new, we try to reach back to something old, to provide us with comfort. But comfort zones and callings will never be romantically involved and anytime God calls, it always comes with abandonment of a thing.

God never cracks a read sea so that you can return to Egypt.

A lot of us are not waiting, you're getting dressed.

There's a difference in getting ready and being dressed.

When you're ready, you're waiting.

When you're becoming, you're dressing.

When you're ready - you're dressed and you're waiting.

Our anxiety is heightened because we don't recognize we're not in the season of ready, we're in the season of getting dressed. When you're getting dressed, don't dress yourself with Egypt clothing and don't allow Egypt texts to cause you to undress what God has put on you as you are becoming.

Everything that God sends your way is going to come on time.

You can prolong a package by disobedience.

God can't send the new thing until you let the old thing go

5. You gave them life - this was parasitic.