10/29/20 When a man loves you / Cuffing Season Part 9 (Redefined TV)

 Genesis 29:32-35

Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.

Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.

Knowledge deficiency - is not always the blame for pain. Sometimes, we are asking God to heal us but we're not letting go of what's making us sick.

What if looking back over and over is infecting you with insecurity?

Forgive yourself for all the times that you left you behind to chase their approval.

I will no longer lose me while helping them find themselves.

- Marriage is not even permanent. (Matthew 22:24-30)

At the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. They will be like, the angels in heaven.

This is deeper than romance. It's about a kingdom agenda. In the spiritual realm, the man is the leader. The man is the authority agent / the man is the covering / the man is the head / the man is the gatekeeper / the protector of the family. 

You cannot change the world until I have first changed you -God

- Never desire for your last name to change more than you want God to change him. Because if you rather your last name to change vs God changing him, he'll change your last name but for the rest of your marriage, you'll be praying for God to change him.

- If we can get the men (head) to have a collision course with the love of Jesus, and then he can begin to love his wife like Christ loved the church and lead his family into that love, him loving Jesus will help the world experience the love of Jesus (kingdom agenda).

So if he loves money, and he loves possessions, he's going to treat you like a possession. If he loves sex, he's gonna treat you like a sex object. If he loves nothing, he's gonna treat you like nothing.

But if a man ever has his heart captured by the gospel, if his life is changed by the power of the cross, if a man ever experiences the love of Jesus, and then he begins to lead his family into the love of Jesus, and that household can lead a community to experience the love of Jesus.

- It's dangerous when a husband (man) doesn't know how to express, because in the kingdom realm, we have been wired to express the heart of God / to model the love of God, because men are identity givers (Genesis 2:19)

What if we were to actually look at how we love and then look at how Jesus loves? 

How do I still love when I've been hurt?

Because historical trauma can give us a high tolerance for pain and we have to become people that stop measuring our strength by how much we could take.

Luke 23:33-34

And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left. Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, they do not know what they do.”

Forgive them. Forgiveness doesn't always mean re-entry.

The Joseph test: When Joseph's brothers came back, he didn't just allow them to automatically come back in his life, he first tested them.

Before I introduce you to the new me, I have to see, are you the same person that threw me in the pit. Are you the same person that took my robe? Are you the same person that sold me into slavery? Just because time has changed, doesn't mean you have.

Forgiveness frees the prisoner and once you forgive, you'll discover that the prisoner was you. All bitterness does is contaminate the container. I will not allow pain to own the pen of my story. because it is not my author. Pain will not have the final say.

How do I love when I'm being falsely accused?

Because sometimes their opinion of me can cause me to dilute my authenticity. When I care more about what they say about me, it can cause for me to dilute my authenticity, all perfectionism is, is the fear of criticism playing dress up.

Matthew 26:59-64

Now the chief priests, the elders, and all the council sought false testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none. Even though many false witnesses came forward, they found none. But at last two false witnesses came forward and said, “This fellow said, ‘I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.’ ”

And the high priest arose and said to Him, “Do You answer nothing? What is it these men testify against You?” But Jesus kept silent. And the high priest answered and said to Him, “I put You under oath by the living God: Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!”

Jesus said to him, “It is as you said. Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

- When they were talking all that noise, what did Jesus do? He said nothing. Because you have to learn to not to respond to what you're not. The only time Jesus said something is when He was able to identify who He was. But if you can't identify who you are, you'll constantly keep on responding to what you're not.

When you know who you are, you don't have to respond to what you're not.

How would the King handle it? He wouldn't even respond to it. I don't address shade thrown from a tree with no fruit.

How do you love when you know somebody's dirt?

When you know their flaw and you know their weakness, do you use their flaw as an ammunition?

John 8:3-7

Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?” This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.

So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 

Don't throw a stone that would be thrown at you. If your behind the scenes, everybody knew. In biblical terms extend grace and pray for them.

- There's a desperate need of unlearning in the area of what we call a man and what we call love. And how we have got in this dangerous place is due to our first teachers. Who got to you first?

Your first teacher of sex, of pain, of what you do when you're upset. We're struggling because we have to try to unlearn the first lessons that we were taught. 

Biblical example / kingdom agenda was for parents to teach you first. Unfortunately a lot of us, the first teachers of trauma was our parents.

- There's this mystery in victory and the secret to spiritual success is not just tied to discipline, obedience and consistency. It's also tied to our ability to discern who not to listen to. HAVE TO HAVE QUALITY IN MY CORNER.

I don't want to lease my ears to somebody who sends me in recovery season after recovery season. I want to have some anointed friends. Bible says anointing breaks yokes. I want to have friends that help me break my ego and they help me break my pride. Help me not be so concerned about feeding my ego but let me feed my spirit. Powerless preaching, powerless pulpits creates powerless pews. 

And the caliber of a man is directly connected to the quality of his counsel.

You are a byproduct of the level of teaching you sit under. Who is in my ear matters.

In our society, 3 types of men:

1) Self-made

Self made. Loner. Most likely an introvert, very secretive. The way he loves you is based on the love he taught himself as love. When a man teaches a man to love, that could become problematic and an issue because you can't love a woman the way you love a man, and when he doesn't understand this, he's real rough with you. He's real stern to you, real direct, very sarcastic to you because he's treating you like a man. But he hasn't been taught tenderness and gentleness. This type of brother, he don't believe in no type of therapy. He's not trying to do no type of counseling, he can never see himself. Why? Because he taught himself. The worst type of combination is when somebody's ignorant and arrogant. When you're ignorant, you think you know everything. When you're arrogant, can't nobody tell you anything. If you all your mind, your emotions, your thought pattern to counsel you. Pain is imminent. The woman with this type of brother, she will always fall short because he's loving you like he will love a man.

2) Culture made

Man who loves you based on how culture has shaped him. He loves you based on how R& B told him to love you, based on how he sees other people and culture love their wife, by his favorite tv shows. Have we forgot that movies and tv is for entertainment and not instruction. If you want him to love you like an actor, don't get upset when the love is fake. This is the difficulty when you allow culture to dress you. Everytime you step in the mirror, you're already out of code, because culture keeps changing. And you have to hurry up and go try on another outfit, and then when you look in the mirror to see how you look, it's already changed again. And so it's training you and discipling you how to be an inconsistent man because the trends keep changing. One of the most irritating things a man can be is inconsistent.

3) Kingdom Made

This is the man who understands that love is sacrifice. He understands that his assignment is to cover you, who understands provision and not just providing you with food and shelter and clothes (culture men do this) but when you're kingdom, he'll give you so much provisions that it leads an inheritance for my children's children. You thinking about the mortgage, but the kingdom man is thinking about his great grandson / great granddaughter. Kingdom man is Jesus dependent. The kingdom man heals. It's his job for you to forget that your heart was ever broken. And love you like you've never been loved before. I wash blemishes, I wash wounds.

Leah was in a place where she was like maybe, if I give Jacob a son, he'll love me. Verse 32 - She named him Reuben for she said it is because the Lord has seen my misery surely my husband will love me now. She conceived again... because the Lord heard that I'm not loved. This woman is having sex with this man and she knows this man doesn't love her. 

A man can give you his time, he can give you his body, he can give you his thoughts, he could even come over and spend the night with you, and you still not have his heart. You think because he talks to you, and he sends you a good morning text, he loves you. In the text, that this man is married to her, having sex with her, she's giving him son after son, and she knows he still doesn't love her. Sex won't keep him. The bait that you use, is probably have to be the bait that you continue to use, to keep him, and that may not even keep him. I need character.

Verse 34 - Again she conceived and bore a son, "Now at last, my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him 3 sons" So he was named Levi. She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, "This time I will praise the Lord." So she named him Judah. Then she stopped producing.

Something happened to Leah, "I'm trying to get him to be attached to me, to love me, to notice me, but maybe I'm putting too much pressure on you, that's not even for you, that's for God. So now, I'm gonna focus on the Lord, and I'm gonna give God praise because He's been good, faithful, loyal. I'm gonna give God praise and I don't need to produce for you anymore, because I recognize producing for you is not gonna fix it. I recognize that the greatest place for me is understanding God's love for me, and then she stopped producing.

NEVER VIEW YOURSELF AS AN OPTION. ALWAYS VIEW YOURSELF AS A PRIVILEGE.

One of the ways you can know when a man loves you, is not by him giving you his body, his time, his conversation - is when he gives you his vulnerable self. What scares him, what he feels like he can't do. The boy like tendencies that he never got rid of and he's ashamed that they're still there. Watch it, because some men will use the victim card. Victim card is not the same as vulnerability. Is when he shows you his flawed self.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN A MAN LOVES YOU

1) He challenges you

Iron sharpens iron. Is when he sharpens you. Challenges you to pray more, to forgive, to serve. It's going to be an evolutionary process for the process that you're already in.

2) He expands you

Expands your dream, expands your vision. Some of us are thinking too low. You have to keep saying well, at least he comes home, at least he calls me, at least... 

If you have to say at least you're settling. Because this means you're looking for the least. 

When Jesus was on the cross, and he was stretched, he was showing you THIS IS WHAT PURPOSE LOOKS LIKE. IT STRETCHES YOU.

3) He helps detox

 There are certain type of brothers, they keep you entertain the pollution of Egypt. They give you the meals of Egypt, but a kingdom man, he helps you rid yourself for that.

If you don't love the principles of God but you call Jesus your homeboy, but you don't  like His teaching, a kingdom man is gonna get on your nerves.

It's almost like his love will put you on a dressing room. I'm not saying he's perfect, but he loves a perfect God. He's just gonna keep on taking off the layers of Egypt.

4) He could lead you

 It's problematic when a man is just a follower, because we have been wired to lead. Can he lead me? Where? Can I trust this individual to lead me to places that I could not get into myself? His leadership is like an usher. His love and his leadership is going to lead you to a seat that you couldn't sit in without his leadership.

5) He sacrifices for you

 He's going to constantly lay down his life so that you can live. You can tell if somebody loves you by how willing they are to be inconvenienced for your benefit.

6) He coves you

Security. I need you to secure me emotionally. A wife should be able to tell her husband more things than she would tell her girlfriends. You should be able to talk to him more. Brothers have to be in a place where she can talk to us because when a woman is in a marriage, and she cannot talk to you, this means she's emotionally homeless, and the enemy is going to try to provide some type of house for her to try to find her emotions to live in.

7) He complements you

 How do I know if something is sent by God or by the enemy? The enemy's kinda easy - he kills, steals, destroys. If it is killing your peace, destroying your sleep, and your outlook of marriage.

But when it is God, it's going to complement. Not complete. Only Jesus does that. He's going to complement a work that you're already engaged in.

11/2/2020 You've got to go / Cuffing Season Part 10 (Redefined TV)

Jonah 1:1-16

The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”

But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.

Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own god. And they threw the cargo into the sea to lighten the ship.

But Jonah had gone below deck, where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep. The captain went to him and said, “How can you sleep? Get up and call on your god! Maybe he will take notice of us so that we will not perish.”

Then the sailors said to each other, “Come, let us cast lots to find out who is responsible for this calamity.” They cast lots and the lot fell on Jonah. So they asked him, “Tell us, who is responsible for making all this trouble for us? What kind of work do you do? Where do you come from? What is your country? From what people are you?”

He answered, “I am a Hebrew and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the dry land.”

This terrified them and they asked, “What have you done?” (They knew he was running away from the Lord, because he had already told them so.)

The sea was getting rougher and rougher. So they asked him, “What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?”

“Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.”

Instead, the men did their best to row back to land. But they could not, for the sea grew even wilder than before. Then they cried out to the Lord, “Please, Lord, do not let us die for taking this man’s life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man, for you, Lord, have done as you pleased.” Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm. At this the men greatly feared the Lord, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows to him. 

- Anybody who doesn't know God and tells you to pray to your God, you might wanna listen. They went from other gods to praying to Jonah's God.

- Which one are you throwing overboard? Your cargo or your Jonah?

- Ever since you have arrived, turbulence have arrived. You've got to go.

- I cannot take destiny steps with toxic people. We will experience soul poisoning when we try to consume what God has deliberately left out this season for your life.

- God sees the conversations behind your back and your loyalty should not require your presence. 

- Stop asking heaven to bless what hell sent.

- Everytime you've decided to follow Jesus wholeheartedly, it requires a breakup and a life change.

- When your relationship with God changes, your relationship with sin changes.

- Life change terrifies hell.

- The closer I get to purpose, the further I get from distractions. The further I get from distractions, the closer I get to focus.

- Jonah - symbolic of somebody living in rebellion. If you can identify him or her, at the dock, bay, marina, if you could pray, seek His face at the dock, you won't have to experience the collateral damage of their rebellion.

- Never feel guilty for severing a connection when it was God who handed you the scissors.

- When you have discernment, you'll live a life wherein you'll never be bit by the same snake twice.

PROJECT . PAWN . PARASITE . PARTNER .

PROJECT - You're not looking to do life / bond with this. The reason is just to place bricks / assignment / mission

ex. The only reason you met her, is she just needs to see that kings still do exist. She doesn't believe that godly men still roam around, and God wants you to be able to show her that godly men still exist. She's not your wife, you're just an example of what godly men looks like, because she's been discouraged that kingdom men don't exist anymore. So God allowing her to discover you not because you are bae, but just to remind her God never runs out of kingdom men. If you don't understand this, you'll confuse assignment as an alignment.

PAWN - Always sent by the enemy to always disturb your inner me / inner peace / joy. Pawns always show up when we are exiting something or about to enter into something. They usually come when you're right on the verge of breakthrough, or when you got out of bondage.

The problem - pawns always come in preference form. It's hard to identify because it comes as what you want.

PARASITES - They drain you. They take the life out of you. Parasites live off a host. When they're no longer with you, they're dying, because you gave them life. They were surviving off of your welfare. Be careful. When you have a parasitic nature, you can't let go of people who try to let you go. You attach to them because you view them as giving you value / worth.

They hate to see you change because everytime you change, you remove what you have in common. They hate to see you evolve. The more you evolve, the more we separate.

PARTNERS - Assistance to your evolution. Ever since he/she has come into your life, you evolve even more. It's not as thought you're not evolving. You were already evolving, but they're just an assistant to your evolving. You're already doing it on your own, but God just wanna add oil to your life. There's levels to this. You serve a God of levels. If you look back a year ago, and we don't see any massive difference, you have to ask yourself, how much have you really submitted to the King of glory. He never lets you stay in a level longer than you have to unless He's doing maintenance. He's the God of progression, forward motion, He specializes in advancement. 1) God will do what we can't do, not what we won't do. Because He's a leader, and not a dragger. This is the massive difference between the Lord and the enemy. The Lord knocks and the enemy bursts in. The Lord comes in by invitation only, the enemy comes in whenever there's an open door. This is how we experience heaven in one area of our life and hell in another area beauce we're selective with what room we allow the Lord to enter in. 

2) We let people determine / dictate what level we go to. There's levels to this. You can't be without first being crossed. 

- God always gives red flags in the form of turbulence.

HOW DO YOU IDENTIFY A JONAH IN YOUR LIFE?

1) A person who lives in rebellion 

Never hang with somebody who lives where you fail. Whenever you entertain a person who lives in rebellion, your heart brings a fugitive.

Jonah 1:7-8

Then the sailors said to each other, “Come, let us cast lots to find out who is responsible for this calamity.” They cast lots and the lot fell on Jonah. So they asked him, “Tell us, who is responsible for making all this trouble for us? What kind of work do you do? Where do you come from? What is your country? From what people are you?”

- Ladies, it's too late to have an interview after he's entered you. These are the questions we ask from the port. Before you get in my boat, I need to know who sent you. Because now, once I'm experiencing the storm of your attachment, I wanna know all about you. 

Why didn't you ask that in the beginning? Maybe, sometimes, we get so desperate that we don't wanna ask questions because we rather post a selfie that we have somebody in our boat now.

Jonah 1:10

This terrified them and they asked, “What have you done?” (They knew he was running away from the Lord, because he had already told them so.)

2) It's when you're woke, but they're asleep.

3) You have to choose between them and the cargo

God won't send you something or somebody who'll take you further from Himself. And everytime you have to choose between obeying God and keeping Jonah, it's a red flag.

4) Waves

God provides turbulence when we go the wrong way.

The sailors / men, don't even know God, but they know the storm is spiritual. These men worship other gods. These storm had to be so bad where they recognize this is not a natural storm, this is something spiritual. How many people have to get you to understand that what you're going through is not natural. This is a spiritual attack / spiritual distraction.

5) After it ends, you're closer to God

Jonah 1:16

At this the men greatly feared the Lord, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lordand made vows to him.

These boys were like, whoever this dude's God is, I've never seen a storm like this. And this has my attention, I need to change my life, and make vows to God. This message is not even about Jonah, it's about the sailors.

10/26/20 She comes with favor / Cuffing Season Part 8 (Redefined TV)

 Proverbs 18:22

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.

- You are a wife before you are a wife. You're the bride of Christ.

- There's this attachment. This Kingdom ethic, kingdom exclusive that really we don't understand. If we did have understanding of it, we would have more people desiring to be holy, more people desiring to live a life of obedience, and more brothers who desire marriage, not just marriage, but desire a godly marriage. More brothers who will desire a godly woman, not because she's a godly woman, but he first is a godly man, because I  can't expect God to send me a Proverbs 31 if I'm not Ephesians 5 type of man. And if we did, I think we would have less ladies who feel as though a man's arrival in your life is an upgrade.

- A man 's presence doesn't remove or cure you from loneliness. It exposes it.

- How we're doing must be more important than how it looks like we're doing. Because God can only anoint the authentic self. Not who you post to be, not who you act to be.

- There's something about the favor of God. You don't want to live life free from the favor of God. Opportunities that you thought you missed out on but favor held your seat. Favor specializes on keeping some stuff on reserved.

> King David - seven of his brothers went under the ram's horn before he got there, but the oil didn't flow until he got there.

- It doesn't matter who applies or tries first, or gets there first. They can even have the interview but if that's yours, if God has your name on it, if God has your position on it, it doesn't matter if the boss likes them, it doesn't matter if they apply or they even get the interview, the oil can't flow until you get there.

- Favor allows you to get for free what other people had to pay for.

  Jesus is the best usher. He paid for stuff that we no longer have to try to pay for. There was a  time we tried it with the blood of bulls and goats, but Jesus is the sacrificial lamb. Now has it where I have joy, peace, and I didn't have to pay for clarity, because Jesus paid the penalty.

- Favor - an attribute that comes with the godly woman

Genesis 6:7-8

So the Lord said, "I will wipe mankind, whom I have created from the face of the earth- men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air - for I am grieved that I have made them." But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.

- Wrath / Judgment was coming but Noah found favor.

- Favor is when God's hand of special preferential treatment becomes your usher and your security.

- Noah had security that protected him from what was about to happen. Noah found favor - it didn't say that his family found favor. 

- Please be more concerned about their attachments vs their accessories. Accessories - 6 pack, curves, looks, she makes you laugh, he's always there for you, but his attachment could be a storm, trauma, drama, bad attitude

If I have people in my life that have kingdom attachment, godly attachments - it may not even be your season but it will end up feeling like your season because you connected to somebody who's connected.

- Noah, loving the Lord and being obedient caused him to be an arc builder and I wonder, have a lot of us settled for a flood producer instead of an arc builder, so your life's flooded with drama, pain, anxiety, because instead of trusting God to send me an arc builder, I settled for a flood producer.

Genesis 37:3-4

Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.

Sometimes your people who hate you in private, you won't know about it until your favor goes public.

You won't really know who doesn't like you in private and in secret until your favor goes public, because favor cuts the grass which reveals snakes.

When they saw Joseph walking, they already couldn't stand Joseph, but they had a real problem with Joseph when they saw him wearing that robe - all the robe was - was an outward confirmation of favors participation. And whenever favor shows up, haters start conversations.

Favor makes people hate more.

Blessed is the man that does not walk in the council of the ungodly nor sits in the seat of the scornful. - Scornful people are always seated. They always say the most but do the least. The first to criticize the last to contribute, sitting on the bench, bench warmers and constantly criticize the starting line up. They don't understand how favor operates. If you're jealous because your sister got a raise, you don't understand how favor operates. If you're jealous because your brother got a promotion, if she got married, if because of what God just gave them, you don't know how favor operates, because God never gives favor to a person for a person, He always gives favor to that person for a people.

If you live a life of obedience / of purpose / if you follow My word / if you seek Me day and night / meditate on My word - you're gonna live a life of favor.

>> Joseph's brothers didn't recognize this. And if you don't recognize it, you'll get jealous of you over your future provision. God favored Joseph to get you behind some grain in the midst of a famine. If you don't understand how favor operates, you could be throwing your own Joseph in a pit.

Favor on me, is favor for you.

I don't want to make choices without the favor of God.  I don't want to live life without the favor of God because when you have favor on your life, you live life with the favor factor. Just because they say they're not hiring, that doesn't always apply to you. Just because the doctor says we can't do anything, that doesn't always apply to you. Just because everybody doesn't know how to find a way out of this, that doesn't always apply to you, because favor causes you to transition into the law of exception. Everybody's getting divorced except me, losing their mind except me.

Esther 2:8-9

When the king’s order and edict had been proclaimed, many young women were brought to the citadel of Susa and put under the care of Hegai. Esther also was taken to the king’s palace and entrusted to Hegai, who had charge of the harem. She pleased him and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food. He assigned to her seven female attendants selected from the king’s palace and moved her and her attendants into the best place in the harem.

3 THINGS FAVOR DOES:

1) FAVOR ON US - PLEASES THOSE IN AUTHORITY OVER US

 When favor is on your life, you never have to spotlight yourself. When favor is on your life, and you're working faithful in the shadows, nobody knows your name, you're behind the curtain, when favor is on your life, you'll never have to spotlight yourself. Because favor will become your marketing specialist, nobody can market you the way that favor could market you.

Someway and somehow, your website will just come across the desk of a CEO. Your flyer / business card will somehow end up in the hand of somebody who has influence and that can open a door for you, and that can get you on a stage or that can connect you with people, because God gives you favor with people who matter. God gives you favor with the critical people who are essential for your destiny.

When favor is involved, it will allow you to connect with people who could allow you to get on a stage / platform, or in a space that you need for your assignment.

When favor is involved, that dream that you're hustling on at night, will no longer be a side hustle but it'll transition into your primary source of income - your gift will make room for you.

When favor is involved, it will have people just as confused as you. They'll be like, how did you get on that? How did they hear about you? How did you do this? Like we're spending thousands on marketing, who is your marketing specialist? 

Favor will have you end up getting noticed, when you're not even trying to get noticed.

2) FAVOR PROVIDES

The Bible says, after Esther won the king's favor, he immediately provided. Favor can reach and get off the top shelf what everybody's reaching for. But they're not favored for. The thing about favor is, favor will have you getting on accident what people are straining to get. They hustling and trying and doing everything they can to get it. But favor has a way of causing you to get stuff on accident. Favor ain't fair. 

Favor moves you. It provides. Hustling can't get you that, grinding, overtime can't get you that. Favor has a way of being your tall assistant that can reach and get off the top shelf what everybody's reaching for but they're not favored for.

Esther was provided with beauty treatments and special food, not just food but special food.

Favor will have you having a fruitful life while those who are settling have a stale life.

3) FAVOR MOVES YOU 

    Favor will move you from your one star struggles to your 5 star accomodations.

If you're Noah, favor moved you from coming wrath to being the captain of the first cruise line called Noah's Ark. If you're David, favor moves you from being in the pasture with sheep to being in a place with servants. If you're Joseph, favor moves you from being in a pit to being the 2nd most powerful man in Egypt. And if you're Ruth, favor moves you from gleaning in the field, to now being the wife of the owner of the field. This is a critical component for all of these people's destiny. How much more do you think you need favor?

Luke 2:51-52

Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. 

If they including Jesus needed favor for their assignment, how much more do you think that you don't need  favor for what it is that God has called you to do. When favor moves you, you have to learn to let certain things go, because just because you move, doesn't mean things can move with you.

Favor shows you what is no longer needed.

When God takes you to a new level, what used to charge you can't charge you anymore. You got to get a different charger, a charger that could handle and it could release velocity. It could release the oil, the anointing, the clarity, because there are a whole lot of features on the new that you'll never be able to experience if you keep on trying to be charged by old things. The same way you outgrow clothes, is the same way you outgrow circles.

The sign of growth is I should be able to outgrow some outfits. You should be outgrowing your pity, your clapback...

HOW DOES FAVOR WORK?

1) FAVOR IS MARRIED TO OBEDIENCE

When you live a life of obedience, doors will open that you never have to knock on.

Favor will put a ring on your finger. Favor will make you its spouse. 

When we live a life of disobedience, favor will divorce you.

Just like obedience could expedite the process, disobedience causes delays.

2) FAVOR RSVPs FOR JEALOUSY

If you can't handle criticism / people talking about you / If God gave you an assignment, why are you giving your effort to bench warmers? If God gave you an assignment - you won't have enough time for these people. 

Can you handle just one side of the blessing? On the side of favor and blessings, there's always a dirty side, and a lot of us are asking God for blessings, and God's like "Yeah, you can handle that, but you can't handle the dirty side." Because the more your ministry grows, the more people try to take you down, the more God favors your life, the more Joseph brother type people you're gonna have, and God's like YES, I know that you're ready for the blessing but you still will respond to the dirty side of it. I need you to be so free and so secure in Me, that I could bless you, and you won't even give your attention to the dirty side.

3) FAVOR ON ME BENEFITS YOU

Their favor in this season, might be your provision in the next season. And whoever you are connected to, and God has given them favor, celebrate them, praise God for them. Sometimes God will allow somebody to get promoted in your face to test your heart.

4) FAVORED MAN AND THE FAVORED WOMAN

When a man surrenders his life to God, he positions to have a Noah effect. Everybody who's connected to me benefits from my favor. Don't be jealous because their favor is not even about them. 

NEVER GET ARROGANT BECAUSE IT'S NEVER ABOUT YOU, IT'S ABOUT GOD'S GLORY.

And what God is doing in your life is for somebody else. The fight that you're going through is not even about you.

What you're going through is going to be somebody else's survival guide. We become so self-centered, my stuff, my car, my house, my money, my name.

10/23/20 Drama Queen & Drama King / Cuffing Season Part 7 (Redefined TV)

Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 27:15-16 
A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.

2 Timothy 3:6
They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires

> I trust God enough. I trust His pace. I trust what He's doing.

   I trust God's "YES" just like I trust His "WAIT"

   I trust God's "YES" just like I trust His "NO" 

   Because they're both submerged in the same amount of LOVE, the same amount of grace, goodness, mercy.

> You wouldn't be tripping so hard if you knew what was behind that closed door.

> Give God praise for the hedge - thanking God for the stuff we don't even know about.

> I trust YOU just because YOU are GOD

How we could self-sabotage healthy relationships:

- Could it be I can't even identify health because of my unhealthy ways, my unhealthy cravings / desires / perspectives?

- Have we arrived to a place where we've gotten so used to unhealthy ways that when somebody healthy tries to come in our life, we call them unhealthy

- It's possible for you to be in dysfunction so long that when somebody tries to introduce you to functional, you call that dysfunctional, because you have learned to function in dysfunction

- This is what unhealthy people do: when somebody healthy convicts of you of your unhealthy ways, we'll go find somebody else who's unhealthy too, who gleans from the same diet you glean from. Because we don't try to find people who grow us. We try to find people who agree with us. Then we'll have a relationship with another unhealthy person and then start talking about a healthy person and start to say how unhealthy they were, but really it's just you're so used to unhealthy things.

- Sometimes we bring our unhealthy ways in the form of drama. Drama - one who brings, births, and thrives off of a dysfunction.

1 Corinthians 15:33

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

- The same way the enemy send people, the same way God sends people.

- God sends people that are important for our destiny. He also sends people that help us detox from history.

- We all got in trouble by what was hanging on a tree. We all got out of trouble by who hang on a tree.

- We all got in trouble by a woman eating a fruit and extending it to her husband and then he ate it and then the fall of man happened.

We all got out of trouble by a woman extending her body and allowing the Holy Spirit to impregnate her with the Son of God and He will be called Emmanuel which means "God with us"

GOD ALWAYS KNOWS HOW TO REVERSE IT

- Is it we're so guarded to watch out what the enemy sends that we don't know how to receive what God sends.

- Some of us, you're so caught up with trying to prove a point that you missed the point. 

- We're in denial about a lot of stuff.

- Dramatic people - severely unstable. They have no grounding / chaotic, all over the place. There's different levels to people with drama, you have those people that feed off a drama, they always got to get their point is right no matter what. They are validated and justified in everything that they think and what the other people think doesn't matter. It's extremely selfish. The sad thing about people that breed and just their whole lives are just full of drama is that it affects the people that love you the most. 

- We have to get to a point where we can manage our emotions.

- The other type is where, you might be that person that's always just wrapped up in your emotions and you play the victim all the time. And something's always wrong. You're always woe is me. That's exhausting too. If we're not careful, we will pass these things on to our children. Our children already came here with their own set of issues. Your children see you having dramatic arguments with your spouse and they see you act dramatically to a certain situation, they see that and they coined it as normal, and so that shapes who they are.

- UNNECESSARY DRAMA ALWAYS SHOWS UP WHEN PURPOSE HAS NOT BEEN DISTINGUISHED.

Purpose - Life's bullseye. Life's calling. Target.

ex. What is the purpose of us being together?

If a couple does not know their bullseye / target - this is how you can end up living life aimlessly.

You can be married 22 yrs / 40 / 50 yrs, and have no bullseye. When you're in a relationship and you don't know the purpose of it, it's almost like going grocery shopping while you're hungry. You'll end up purchasing a snack.

Proverbs 4:7 

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.

Before you say "I DO" get understanding.

Before you QUIT get understanding.

Before you CUT THEM OFF, get understanding. You could have cut them off just from an assumption. And assumptions are the termites of every relationship.

- How arguments and how drama hits marriage - it's when one of you has a standard in something and I don't so when every storm hits one, I'm getting drenched, getting wet by her pain, by her in-laws, my in-laws, by her stuff, because there's a certain thing that we both don't understand.

- When you have a target, it helps you prevent drama and you both have a standard that you're understanding together as one. Then it will help you identify the drama situations. The drama people, and then you will be able to together make sure you navigate through life eliminating the drama and keeping your lives free from drama. Sometimes drama is gonna try to come and find you. It happens but when you both are standing under the same type of standards, then you can go through this thing together. And this is something we're not gonna entertain. This is the type of drama and the type of stuff that we don't want to infiltrate what we got going on. We have a goal in mind / purpose / vision in mind. If there's anything or anybody else that's bringing  any type of drama into this. what's going  - we're gonna have to keep you at a distance, or maybe eliminate some things. Enemy's tactic is to bring drama into peaceful situations. If you get the understanding that this is the type of thing that you want in your life, then you're gonna have to get a handle for yourself and make sure you don't have the drama going on within yourself and within your life.

1) Drama is incubated in dysfunction - The familiar blanket of childhood / community  / this is how drama infest environments

Have you gotten comfortable in a drama infested environment to where it doesn't even faze you when you see drama / toxicity. It's possible for drama's touch to become your normal touch.

2) Drama has been normalized

Colossians 2:8

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.

Just it means it's normal to culture,  doesn't mean it's normal to Kingdom. Everything that's normal to culture is abnormal to Kingdom and what's normal to Kingdom is abnormal to culture.

3) Drama Junkie - Type of people who spawn drama, feed off drama, instigate drama

- Drama's native tongue is gossip

You may not be able to know the difference between keeping it real and gossip, but your harvest will.

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

4) Drama Deflection - 

  People who really don't like themselves and they have self-resentment and so since they don't like who they are and they don't like their reality since they're unhappy, they'll try to bring their unhappiness in your happy life, project their issues on to you, they don't want to deal with who they are, and so many times they try to spawn up drama. Do you know that person who comes in the room - it's like when they enter, peace exits, and when they exit, peace enters. People who don't want to confront their own internal turmoil.

5) Drama attention - they want attention. I just want somebody to notice me.

10/20/20 How to handle pain / Cuffing Season Part 6 (Redefined TV)

 Matthew 4:18-20

And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” They immediately left their nets and followed Him.

> There's always something that you're gonna leave behind when you have made up your mind to follow the King.

John 21:1-3

After these things Jesus showed Himself again to the disciples at the Sea of Tiberias, and in this way He showed Himself: Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of His disciples were together. Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.”

> How do you go from being called to be a fisher of men and then later going back just to be a regular fisherman? 

How do you go from being called by Jesus to later being right back in the place where Jesus called you out of?

Something hit the heart of Peter (between year 1 and year 3). Something hit the heart of Peter from the called to the crucifixion.

> There's a course that the educational system left out. There's this particular thing that we're all gonna be touched by it. Doesn't matter if you try to avoid it or run from it. PAIN.

Pain has caused some people to end their life, has caused some people to walk away.

What do I use to treat my heart?

> What do you do when you're not doing anything but pain has choose you? A lot of us are running. Relocation doesn't serve pain an eviction notice.

Pain is tied to our arrival. The arrival of your existence is tied to somebody else experiencing pain. Your mother experienced pain carrying you, birthing you and healing from birthing you.

And since we live in a fallen world, and we're flawed and imperfect people - it's going to happen. You're going to be touched by somebody else's imperfection, flaw, inadequacy. Somebody's gonna hurt you. Some of us are hurt from somebody. Some of us are hurting ourselves. Something's gonna hurt you.

Pain is gonna pay all of us a visit. But we have to be so secure that we know how to never allow pain to be a tenant. Let it just be a visitor. We're not allowing it to move in. When pain shows up, I don't allow my heart to provide room and board it. We need wisdom to navigate life. How do we go through life with allowing pain to visit me when I don't expect it - thru loss, grief?  And I don't allow pain to become a tenant. 

For a lot of us, your pain is bleeding out. You're trying to hide it, cover it up, but your pain is showing. It bleeds out, in your posts, with the way you talk, in the way you father / mother, husband or wife.

If you're a pastor, your pain is bleeding out in your sermon. If you're an artist, your pain is bleeding out in your art / lyrics.

If we don't have the proper healing and we're not seeking out intentionality - emotional pain could cause somebody to be stuck for the rest of their life.

If we don't know how to handle pain, if we don't know how to handle abrupt endings, our hearts can become so callous where we stop fighting for joy, to win souls for people to come to Christ, purity, godliness. We stop fighting for ourselves.

Concealed pain bruises hearts. THE BLOOD STILL WORKS. It can heal you from the pain. It can turn your life around.

Isaiah 53:5 

But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.

WOUND - is a cut that you can see

BRUISE - when blood vessels burst underneath the skin

Jesus is saying - my blood is not just gonna heal you and cover the stuff that you can see. It's not just gonna set you free from the stuff that you can see, it's not just gonna set you free from the stuff that you could see. My blood is powerful enough to go underneath the surface, the depths, to touch the things you're ashamed to talk about. Because shame doesn't come from me.

The spouse of pain is anger. And once pain and anger gets married, they'll have a baby called bitterness.

The person who hurt you, the person on who broke you is not gonna come back to fix you.

One of the most crippling things we could ever do is look for the peace in the same place we lost it.

It may not be even your fault that happened, but it's your responsibility to heal. Healing comes from Jesus and our intentionality.

We don't get even. We get healed.

Desire for closure is holding you hostage. Emotionally kidnapped, hijacked by the terrorism of an explanation that you'll never get. Stuck -because you want them to come back and own what they did.

How did Peter, from being called to be a fisher of men, to going right back to being just a regular fisherman? Can you just imagine how mentally and physically exhausting it was to be a disciple during the last week of Jesus' life? Can you just imagine how to be Peter during the last week of Jesus' life?

Jesus took off His garment then puts a towel around Him and washes every disciples feet and take the dirt off the disciples on the towel - this is symbolic.

Jesus standing up, taking off His heavenly self, coming in earth, wrapping Himself in flesh, taking on our sin, our stain, our dirt by washing us with His blood - taking on the dirt of humanity - dirt from our mind, conversation, choices.

Jesus last earthly miracle before the crucifixion - He puts the ear right back of the high priest's servant. So if they try to convict Peter of assaulting an officer, they couldn't because He specializes in erasing the evidence. I don't look like what I've been through, because He specializes in erasing the evidence.

When Peter denied Him, Jesus looked at Him in the eye. He couldn't love me because of what I've done, so Peter just went back to fishing. There's no way could Jesus want me. 

The crazy thing about this painful process, is it was all for Peter being processed.

What do you do if pain is part of your process?

God allows pain sometimes, He prescribes it.

1 Peter 2:21

For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps:

1 Peter 4:1

Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin,

 What do you do when God prescribes pain for your becoming?

You don't think God allows pain? Ask Abraham. When he waited 25 years for something and then God tested him, "Go kill it."

Don't you think pain hits heart when he heard the instruction? 

Ask Joseph. When God gave him a dream and his brothers throw him in a pit, took him out of the pit, sold him into slavery, and then gets lied on by Potiphar's wife and then thrown into prison, and then meets a butler, and a baker, interprets their dream, and then said when you get out of here, don't forget about me, and they leave out, and for a while forget about him. Don't you think Joseph was in that prison cell wondering, "Why am I going through this?" AND IT WAS ALL PART OF THE PROCESS.

THERE'S A PURPOSE IN YOUR PAIN.

What do you do when God gives you pain in the form of Judas?

And part of your process is for you to be betrayed. Matter of fact, you wouldn't be able to level up if you didn't experience the pain of that betrayal.

Your destiny is tied for you to get betrayed. Your destiny is tied to pain.

God gives you a Judas. And you're hurting but there's a blessing somewhere in this problem. The difficult thing - the blessing is always at the exit. Never at the entrance.

If Judas was never chosen by Jesus, Judas could not betray Jesus. And if Judas never betrayed Jesus, Jesus would never gotten to the cross. If Jesus never gotten to the cross, and never would have died for our sins, there will never be such thing as salvation. If there's no salvation, there's no gospel. If there's no gospel, there's no good news. If there's no good news, this message is dead.

Blessing is when you come out of the storm.  

A lot of us are praying the wrong prayer. "God get me out of this." Your prayer should be, "God, what am I supposed to get out of this?" So that when I get out of this, I learn from it. And if I don't learn from it, I may go back in it. And I don't wanna get back in the hallway.

Problem - entry

Blessing - exit

In between - heart rehabilitation

Matthew 5:43-44

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 

 The purpose of Judas - something has to die

The purpose of pain - something has to die

When you work out and you feel pain, weaker muscles are dying, weaker muscles breaking down, so stronger muscles can develop.

HOW TO HANDLE PAIN?

1. TALK - The mouth is the ventilation system of the heart. Some of us are dying because you're not talking. Be careful where you bleed, not everybody can handle your mess.

2. ACKNOWLEDGE IT - God can't heal what you don't give Him. 

Luke 6:6-11

Now it happened on another Sabbath, also, that He entered the synagogue and taught. And a man was there whose right hand was withered. So the scribes and Pharisees watched Him closely, whether He would heal on the Sabbath, that they might find an accusation against Him. But He knew their thoughts, and said to the man who had the withered hand, “Arise and stand here.” And he arose and stood. Then Jesus said to them, “I will ask you one thing: Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy?” And when He had looked around at them all, He said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” And he did so, and his hand was restored as whole as the other. But they were filled with rage, and discussed with one another what they might do to Jesus.

These people are looking to see if Jesus is gonna heal somebody from something painful. Their hearts are so callous that they don't want Him to heal anybody.

Jesus tells him to stretch out his hand, but never tell which one. God can't heal what you won't give Him.

A lot of us would have stretch out the hand which seems to be okay. Unless you give out the withered hand, that did hurt - what's the purpose of this - He can never restore back to its original state. 

Some people want to bound you pain better. Why? So that at least we have something in common. And if you want to be free from pain, then I try to get a way to give you pain. This is why some people keep bringing up your past because you are a new you, but they're still an old them.

3. RELAPSE PREVENTION - constantly pray for people when they hurt you, pray for them. Forgiveness frees the prisoner and once you forgive you'll discover that the prisoner was you.

4. TEMPLE CARE - (Practical Solution) The way a lot of us handle pain is we overeat. We try to eat our pain away. You can handle pain by going to run a mile. Go to the weight room. Some weights are released when some weights are lifted. I have some pain because I'm housing it versus practically working it uot.

5. THE LOVE OF JESUS - 

John 21:15-17

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?”He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

Peter denied Him 3x, Jesus restored him 3x.

Jesus died, was in the grave for 3 days. 3 People on the cross. The rooster crowed 3x. Peter denied Him 3x, Jesus restored him 3x.

Jesus didn't bring up what he did. "I love you and I'm giving you an assignment. And how we get healed and how we get over pain, is when we run into the love of Jesus, we love Him and then Jesus gives us an assignment.

Seek and save the lost.

10/16/2020 Fatal Attraction / Cuffing Season Part 5 (Redefined TV)

 1 Kings 11:1-2

King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the Lordhad told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. 

> What are we loving that's turning our hearts?

> You may not be responsible for what you attract, but you are responsible for what you entertain.

> One of the tactics of the enemy is to send us pain giftwrapped in our preference.

> It's not the foreign women chasing Solomon. It appears that Solomon was chasing them.

> Isn't it amazing on how we look back on what we had in Egypt and some of us have been lurking, and monitoring things that were fatal.

> Why do you reminisce the good times but forget Pharaoh's whip? - Forget when your hair was falling out and begging God to get you out of it.

> THANK GOD IT DIDN'T WORK

> Has anybody grateful for the times you didn't get the position? For the times God did close doors, that relationship didn't work out. You wouldn't be pursuing God with the intensity you've been pursuing Him now, if that would have worked.

> One of the signs you're growing is when your X is no longer your type. I'm no longer attracted to things I had in Egypt.

X is an example when God doesn't endorse a thing.  

> For certain people our radical stance and our peace seem unnatural because people who live in chaos looked confused at people who live in peace. They can't understand it cause all they've known is chaos and dysfunction.

> A fatal attraction is not when someone can't get over you. It is when God told us not to do a thing but we hold on to it. Is when we are attracted to that which is fatal.

> Can you identify when something is fatal? There's a desperate need for unlearning in the area of attraction. There's a desperate need for us to unlearn some things because I cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that created it. So I need God to deal with what I am attracted to - what I like / what's my type / preferences because if I keep my preferences but keep on claiming the king and God hasn't touched the area of my preferences I'll keep on feeling as though God is leading me into wilderness and famine places and many times, it's the very thing that we liked that keeps causing us to behave into a season. The beginning of unlearning is forgiveness. When we have to unlearn some things we come to God and say 'Forgive me for what I've done.' This is repentance, "Forgive me and change my heart. I need you to change me." And for me to change, I need to ask forgiveness because I don't want to go back to that. And some of us we need to learn to forgive ourselves, forgive ourselves for entertaining fatal things, forgive ourselves so we can really forgive others. FORGIVENESS FREES THE PRISONER. And once you forgive, you'll discover that the prisoner was you. DON'T GET EVEN. HEAL. Healing looks good on you. Becoming looks good on you. Because one of the ways the devil is trafficking in killing us softly, is by the things that we're attracted to. Because we can't identify that which is toxic. 

When we can't identify what's toxic we'll look like a cute dog licking a rattlesnake. How many of us kissed snakes but we couldn't recognize until we've been bit. But what is it in me that liked the snake in the first place? What is it in me that caused me to not see that this is fatal? I wonder how life would have looked if before we pick up things, we treat it as if it is venomous, until we got confirmation. 

I'm not picking this up, not marrying this, not taking this, not dating them, not doing this until I get some confirmation because I don't know if you bear fruit or you bear poison, and until then, I'll treat you as accordingly. We'll have some distance. I gotta get discernment. Some of us are so caught up with what we see. Look for things by seeking. It's not being attracted to things based on what we see. Add a K to it. SEEK out if this is God's will for my life.

1 Chronicles 16:11

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

Lamentations 3:25

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

Psalms 119:10 

With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!

Amos 5:4

For thus says the Lord to the house of Israel: “Seek me and live;

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Jesus is saying, don't seek the things, seek the Kingdom because if you seek the King and the Kingdom, the things that you need for your assignment will be added unto you.

DISCERNMENT CORRECTS ATTRACTION - There's a difference between attraction and being attracted

Trauma response - When we romanticize and when we reflect on a toxic relationship that was an emotional assassin- that's a trauma response, not you missing them. It's possible that many people due to the intensity of the bond, we think this has to be love. Because  it's so hard for me to let them go, because I don't want to do life without them. Unfortunately a lot of us have never known what LOVE is - not from a Kingdom perspective. Maybe you're mislabeling it, you don't miss them, you're having withdrawals. Because this is how the body response when we're no longer giving it the toxicity that it's used to. Your body is responding, you no longer has the poison. When you're having withdrawals, that doesn't mean go back.

DISCERNMENT - Clear direction, cloudy direction, confirmed direction

1. CLEAR - It's clearly sin. No need to pray / fast.

ex. Should I rob them?, Do I need to sleep with so's wife or husband?

2. CLOUDY - When you encounter an obstacle / crossroad. When you don't know what to do. God's will / my will / enemy? 

This is when God is calling us into intercession. Fast. Depending on the direction that you're about to go, is married to how intense the fasting and how intense we have to go to turn down the volume of things.

ex. Fast 3 days if you don't know if you should do business with this person.

21-40 days and counseling for marriage.

The thing about God is He always addresses the elephant in the room.

3. CONFIRMED - It's when God confirmed you to do a thing.

Authorization. The beauty about having confirmation is that you've been heavenly authorized for a thing.

>> 1) it will always compliment His word

>> 2) unexplainable flow - things just lining up. 

         Obedience - you'll live on flow you don't have to knock on doors, it'll open for you

>> 3) Reoccurring confirmation - God won't give you new instruction until you've got NOW obedience

>> 4) Resistance - Somethings trying to stop you / hinder you. If you never experienced resistance, maybe you're going the same way with the devil, but he's a defeated foe.

THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN IS IF YOU DON'T FIGHT. BECAUSE THE FIGHT HAS BEEN FIXED. BECAUSE IN CHRIST WE HAVE THE VICTORY.

Confirmation is the anchor that keeps me from drifting with the waves from second guessing. No matter how hard it gets, I know that I've been given authority in this area. There's nothing more anxiety spawning, uncertainty triggering than for you to make moves without confirmation.

COMMON DISCERNMENT - When you can see through a thing (You know they're lying)

SPIRITUAL DISCERNMENT - When you can see beyond a thing (You know if it's sent by the enemy or distraction)

Lack of spiritual discernment shows I'm still a baby, because toddlers will always choose candy over callings.

Attraction is married to appetite - Our appetite is the GPS of our pursuits. Whatever we crave is what we'll pursue. You don't end up at the place you desire. You end up at the place you crave. 

1 Kings 11:4-8

For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and did not fully follow the Lord, as did his father David. Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, on the hill that is east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the abomination of the people of Ammon. And he did likewise for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods.

Follow the Lord, as did his father David had done: the power of forgiveness. We know about David's sin but God doesn't hold that against David, even though there's a consequence.

How many of us are sacrificing because we're with foreign things to our destiny?

How many of us have our hearts turned down towards the gospel because of estranged people in our life who have turned our hearts for other Gods? 

Can you identify when something is fatal?

FATAL - it keeps taking your way from what God has talked you into.

Whoever has the remote to our life controls the volume.

How do we identify what's fatal?

1. Unlearn attraction - Unlearn what they told you

2. Attraction should be formulated by a fruit - Never get in a place where you live in fear so much to where you embrace familiar misery rather than seek out foreign joy.

3. Flesh based bonds are venomous. 

FATAL - When it has turned your heart against God.