Ephesians 5:25-32
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
* Marriage was designed to be a representation of what Christ and the Church looks like. This is why it makes so much sense why that God will use "Unfaithful" terminology when He was speaking about the children of Israel indulging in idolatry - "They went whoring after other gods." "Adulterous and unbelieving generation."
God views it as cheating when we have a 'lifestyle' living according to the flesh but then yet claimed to be the bride. This is why the enemy sends you counterfeit after counterfeit, distraction after distraction - it is not necessarily about you. The enemy is messing up the representation. This is why a lot of people have issues with the church and a lot of issues with Jesus. It's not that they have a problem with Jesus, but with the people who claim to be followers of Jesus.
2 Types of woman:
A. Doesn't have value application
Doesn't have any requirements thus whoever applies she hires.
Even businesses and corporations understands the importance of application. If you want this position or want to work here, you have to apply- needs background check / info, do you meet the requirements for this position, degree, license, trainings, credentials and former employer to check if they're lying. If you ever know somebody's lying (not think or assumption because assumptions are the termites of every relationship), when you know that they're lying, don't tell them, just ask about it because I need to see how many problems am I really dealing with. Am I dealing with you just being a liar or with you being a liar and denying about you lying to.
You can do all of that, fill up application, background check and 3 interviews and still not get the position. Why? Because we know who we are looking for. They have a value of application.
She doesn't have full awareness of who she is and there are a breed of men looking for a woman like that. They know, she'll tolerate me, take care of me, she'll even make excuses for my poisonous behavior because she doesn't know who she is. She has all of these insecurities, she doesn't know her value in Christ. She doesn't know she's a queen, a woman of purpose, that God has a powerful plan for her life. Women do it too, you know this man has no chance, you don't like him at all, he has no chance but he likes you, but use his feelings to get a free meal, use his feelings to get what you want.
B. She knows who she is. She has a requirement and standard.
There's a difference between standard and preference.
Standard orbit around godly fruit. Example He must be saved.
Preference orbit around flesh. Example 6 feet tall, curvy.
Sometimes men won't mess with her, they want her and they know that this is the type of woman that they need but they won't mess with her because she requires for someone to be mature, won't tolerate your boy type ways, abuse, narcissistic behavior, manipulation, and since these men can't get you, they'll settle for type A then sometimes you'll question yourself, "What's wrong with me?" Many have tried but many have failed. But you are the one that's favored. The Bible doesn't say, when he finds you, you get favor but, when he finds you, he gets favored. You're favored in your single state, and you're favored in your married state. You are the ticket to favor. Don't question yourself, because you're the one with the favor and men will begin to walk around and say you know what, that's wifey.
Men / women - you are Christ's wife. You're the bride, He's the bridegroom.
WHAT TYPE OF WIFE AM I?
Am I asking God to send me somebody when I'm not even a good wife to You already? Instead of trying to get people to understand your love language, how you try to understand God's love language.
1. Jesus loves quality time
When you spend time with Him in prayer, when you dedicate the morning and bask in His presence, and seek His face and dwell in His word.
2. He loves words of affirmations
He loves words of affirmation, not because He needs to be affirmed but He knows when you affirm Him it affirms you.
You don't read the Bible for God. All of these are for you.
You praying won't make God any more faithful, more holy, more righteous. You worshipping is going to help your mind stop worrying. because you can't worry and worship at the same time. A lot of us got it twisted. We think we're doing God a service because we attend church, we're giving, praying, fasting - you're doing this for you. God has no competition / adversary.
3. He loves when you use your gifts.
Because He gave them to you. When you worship, He gave that gift. When you exercise your gift of artistry, gift of speaking, gift of business skill. I LOVE WHEN YOU DO THAT BECAUSE IT SHOWS ME OFF.
4. Acts of Service
When you're serving your community, your husband / wife, because you're the hands and feet of God.
5. Physical Touch
When you touch the heart of God. Anytime you choose His will over your will. Anytime you say "God, I want to do this, but I trust You and You're my husband and I'm gonna follow You and I'm gonna submit to You." It gives glory.
God loves us so much. If it hurt Your heart so much, why give me an opportunity to choose between the tree of good and evil, and the tree of what You said not to eat from - why give us a choice? I love you and I don't want you to have control, I want you to have free will because anytime you choose Me over choosing what you want to do, that shows Me that you love Me.
Will you listen to Me? Or will you listen to culture? Me or your flesh? Which one will you choose?
It'll be hard to choose if you're facing the wrong tree. It wouldn't be so hard if you're surrounding yourself with people who aren't eating from the wrong tree, if you're seeking God's face.
If you're married or want to be married - let's say, you roll upon your spouse on their work and noticed they're not wearing the wedding ring. How many of us will have problem with that? It's one thing if you have an agreement, but you ask him or her about it and they pull it out and place it back. Most of us are like that. Ashamed of it, taking our ring off. Jesus is like, "Why do you keep taking your ring off that hang in that relationship, when you go around your friends, when you go to happy hour with them?"
"I want everybody to know that you're My bride. Represent Me well." You are the bride of Christ.
GENESIS
Story of creation; God spent 5 days establishing the order, the waters, the light, day and night. Heaven is His throne and earth is His footstool. Our God is so powerful, He spent His time focused on the environment before the arrival because God knows the power of atmosphere. He's showing us a portrait of how He operates. "I don't breathe in it until there has been a created space for it."
A lot of us keep on window shopping at our dreams but then purchasing our excuses. It's really not faithing it if we haven't prepared space in our life to receive what we're asking for God to extend. Because sometimes God will bless you with double. Story of Isaac and Rebekah- Rebekah couldn't conceive so Isaac prayed (power of having a praying man), asked God for his wife to conceive, and God gave him twins. Sometimes, if you're bold enough to ask for one- I'm big to bless you with 2.
When opportunity calls, only the prepared could answer.
Value closed doors. It's the off season teaches you how to prepare, where nobody sees your mistake, where you train. Change your perspective. Just because the curtain is closed, doesn't mean the production is over. All it means is God is switching scenes.
Never mislabel a bad weather as a bad season. When the weather gets the most severe is due to the seasons changing. It could just be irrefutable evidence that you're in transition.
God focuses on the atmosphere before the arrival because I need an atmosphere that could sustain what I'm about to do. I need a system in place for what I'm about to send.
This is why you don't want to surround yourself with complainers, because it sets forth an atmosphere.
CHURCH (EKKLESIA) - assembly / called out ones.
I'm pregnant with a ministry, with a destiny, a calling, a purpose, a business, and due to what I'm carrying, I can't eat that. Because when you become pregnant, certain things now make you nauseous.
It's due to what I'm carrying. Things I used to consume, they now make me sick, just the smell of it now makes me sick.
You need to work out your own salvation. Don't expect only the pastor or preacher needs to study the Word. You study to show yourself approved, not just the pastor or preacher. It's recognizing that I also need to be diligent with my growth. Evolve so hard that you need to reintroduce yourself. This is why it's stupid for people to gossip about you because most likely that's outdated information because you evolve on the regular.
WIFELY DUTIES
1. CALLED TO REPRESENT
Need to have that proposal energy. The energy showing off that He proposed (posting pictures of the ring, etc) Let everybody know that you're a believer.
Matthew 5:16
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
Jesus is saying, I want people to know you're married. I want them to know that you're Mine. The same way you're flexing that ring.
How to represent Him?
1 Timothy 5:16
Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
Represent Me the way you behave, with loving one another, in Word, in the Spirit, in your faith, in your purity.
2. SCRIPTURE IS BOSS
It's the highest authority in our life. When I encounter a situation, I always reflect back to the Word of God. SCRIPTURE IS BOSS NOT MY FEELINGS. Feelings are wonderful servants but terrible masters.
3. CHRIST-CENTERED AND HOLY SPIRIT LED
It's not about going to hell. A lot preach - "If you do this, you're going to burn!!!"
Don't do things because you fear your spouse will divorce you. Do good things (going to your spouse every night, cleaning, flowers, etc.) - you do those things because you love your spouse.
As a wife and being the bride of Christ, there's a lot of things God is going to ask you to do and you're not gonna want to do them, but at the end of the day, it's not about me, I'm trying to please my husband.
4. MAKE MUCH OF JESUS
If you live a life making much about Jesus, everything that you really want, you're going to collab with on the way.
This is why seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all of these things will be added unto you.
A lot of us want the things but we don't want to seek the Kingdom. We don't want to study or to live pure, but we want the things. People who want God for His hand and not after His heart.
Be passionate about evangelism.
5. SUBMIT
God won't submit to you. You submit to Him. The hardest thing about a marriage context is that the man has the final say. Why are you with a man that you don't trust Him out of the final say, in the first place? Submission is never demanded, it's modeled. As a Kingdom man, He never puts His foot down, if it's not for the better of his family (Christ on the cross). It's never gonna be about him. He never abuses his position, like God never abuses His position. The final say - it's always for you and the children, not himself.
If you can't submit to God now, what makes you think this person will be submitted to you. If she can't submit to a God who is perfect, how is she going to submit to your behind, you being imperfect.
He has to be kingdom of course. It's going to be hard for you to submit to a fool. God is saying, this man is already submitted before you ever came into the scene. He was already submitted to Christ. Getting behind him is going to feel like something that you already have because he's never going to use his position to treat you with disrespect. If you're with somebody who disrespected you, you kind of already disrespected yourself.
Everybody wants to be kingdom until it's time to do kingdom.
6. DEVOTED TO DISCIPLESHIP
Go make disciplined ones. Discipleship requires nudity - have to be honest, open, nude. You can't heal when you act like it doesn't hurt.
You can't expect the doctor to call you and you're the one with the virus. Doctors follow up but after a while, you got to let Me know that you got aches. You got to let Me know that you got issues, that something hurts. Because I don't know if you don't tell Me. Don't let all of the stuff that went from generation to generation, suffering in silence, that stuff didn't work. You would die miserable and in pain, and blame everybody else because you never recognize sometimes you got to get ugly for your deliverance. You can't care what people think, you can't care your issues exposed because they can't save me anyway, I need to be able to be held to somebody who could disciple me.
7. HAVE GODLY LEADERS
You need each other, many members, one body. You can't do this alone.
1-Church grows you. 2-Disciplines you. 3-Church is you.
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